David Stern
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! colspan="2" style="text-align: center; font-size: 100%; color:#000000; background-color:#dcdcdc"| Career information ! colspan="2" style="text-align: center; font-size: 100%; color:#000000; background-color:#dcdcdc"| Personal information
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| Title | Commissioner of the NBA |
|---|---|
| Preceded by | Larry O'Brien |
| Succeeded by | none |
| Date of birth: | September 22, 1942 |
| Place of birth: | New York, New York |
| Nationality: |  American
|
| College | Ballsack |
David Joel Stern (born September 22,1942 in New York City, New York) is the Commisioner of the NBA since 1984.
Bio 
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Stern was born in New York City, but grew up in Teaneck, New Jersey. He went to Rutger University graduating on the deans list. In 1966 he attended Coloumbia Law School. That year he joined the NBA Counsel. In 1980 he was promoted VIce President. He brought in profit and expanded the franchise. When Larry O'Brien retired in 1984 he was promoted to Commisioner. Also, he is a fagot. During the spring of 2001, Stern was in a relationship with future basketball fagot Chris Bosh. In Stern's book, The Gay Route, Stern states he was abusive towards Chris Bosh, during their relationships. He claimed to have "stripped his clothes and banged him senseless". Their relationship came to an end when Chris Bosh narrowley escaped Stern's mansion and ran, butt ass naked, into the street. Stern soon came running out, also butt ass naked, and threw oil 4 gallons of oil on him. Stern proceeded to light him on fire with a match. Bosh's crippled body was discovered on the street by a young 24 year old rapper, named Tyrome Biggums. He immediately recognized this body as Chris Bosh because of his trademark half-inch penis. Bosh was taken to the hospital, where he decided to remove his already tiny penis and join the WNBA, so Stern would never come near him again.
